Welcome to Issue 42 of A Good Reputation, a newsletter about how to use storytelling to grow your brand. (Did someone send you? Subscribe here.) Hello Reader, Luna, my little gray rescue with a big personality, has never met a box she doesn’t like. Amazon delivery day has become a favorite for both of us. Because even though I have to spend my own money, and it’s usually something practical, it still feels like I’m getting a present each time a package arrives at my doorstep. And Luna shares my excitement over each new purchase because, for her, it means she’s getting a new box. “Luna in a box” has become a family meme. Pictures of Luna in a box get passed around the group chat, and images of her all cozy in the act have been printed on sweatshirts we’ve gifted for the holidays. We even wrote a song about it. But I’ve noticed something funny recently. Luna has never been interested in the newer, bigger box for very long. She explores the new box with interest. Sometimes, she even naps in it. But after the novelty wears off, she returns to her original box—the one we brought her home in as a kitten one year ago. She barely fits into this box anymore. It’s even tearing at the sides. Yet, it’s the one she seems to be most comfortable in. I imagine it’s because it’s her safe space. The one she knows and has always known. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, I wonder what will happen when it finally gives way. It made me think about how we all have our favorite little boxes—the ones we crawl into because they feel safe and familiar. But what happens when staying safe starts to feel like staying stuck? A Good QuestionI started asking myself this question when a former client revealed that she has trouble creating content because she’s afraid she’s just “adding to the noise.” She doesn’t feel like she has anything original to say, as everything that could be said has been said. The thing is, she’s not wrong. And I know she’s not alone in feeling that way. The internet is layered in borrowed ideas stacked on borrowed ideas. And not only is every smart opinion, insight, or punchline documented, it’s also instantly searchable. Add the pressure to stand out on social media (where the model rewards redundant content that’s either broadly relatable or boldly polarizing), and it’s no wonder we’d rather retreat into our safe spaces of either silence or sameness. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this. We’re wired to keep ourselves safe by avoiding risk and seeking belonging within a group. It’s why we stay in our lane, echo popular opinions, and stick closely to our tribes. But eventually, if we want to grow our audience, our business, and our influence, we hit a new need in our hierarchy of complicated human needs: A Good ParadoxThe more I study the science of storytelling, the more I see the inherent contradictions in our competing needs. We need to feel belonging to a group, but also seek to earn status and the respect of others from within that group. Then there’s the whole realm of self-actualization, which is what drives us to want to be creative, independent, and fulfilled (But let’s save that one for another day.) So, if we can accept that influence is what we’re after to build our brands and make our mark so that we can reach the people we want to help, we can’t settle for just being liked or trusted. We need to be chosen and remembered. That’s where the tension is. The instinct to belong keeps us safe. But the need to stand out asks us to take risks. And navigating that edge between fitting in and standing out by sharing your original take on your original experiences from your one and only original life is where I think we’ll find that originality we’re all seeking. But first, you have to crawl out of your box. A Good PerspectiveThe more I study the science of storytelling, the more I see the inherent contradictions in our competing needs. We need to feel belonging to a group, but also seek to earn status and the respect of others from within that group. Then there’s the whole realm of self-actualization, which is what drives us to want to be creative, independent, and fulfilled (But let’s save that one for another day.) So, if we can accept that influence is what we’re after to build our brands and make our mark so that we can reach the people we want to help, we can’t settle for just being liked or trusted. We need to be chosen and remembered. That’s where the tension is. The instinct to belong keeps us safe. But the need to stand out asks us to take risks. And navigating that edge between fitting in and standing out by sharing your original take on your original experiences from your one and only original life is where I think we’ll find that originality we’re all seeking. But first, you have to crawl out of your box. A Good TakeawayIn her latest book on creative living beyond fear, Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame said this: “Anyhow, the older I get, the less impressed I become with originality. These days, I’m far more moved by authenticity. Attempts at originality can often feel forced and precious, but authenticity has quiet resonance that never fails to stir me.” What if, like Gilbert, we stopped worrying so much about being original and instead focused more on building the courage to explore what it means to be ourselves? The original advantage is already there. And the best news is that—if we’re open to exploring beyond our safe zones—we’ll only continue growing in unique and interesting ways. The more you bring in your past, your cultural references, your obsessions, and all the new things you’re learning that are processed through that unique combination of things, the more likely it is that no one else could say what you’re saying. It takes believing that originality isn’t derived from the uniqueness of your idea, but from the personal iterative process of creating meaning of your life. For me, this takes the pressure off. It means that my ideas don’t have to be entirely unique, because the way I live them, shape them, and share them always is. So, practically speaking, if you’re feeling stuck and like you’re adding to the noise, I suggest the first thing you do is get off your computer, close your social media apps, and go out into the world to seek new experiences. Even if you’re using AI to do this work, you’ve probably learned by now that better, more diverse inputs equal better outputs. Here are a few ways I’ve been doing that, inspired by all the people I consider original thinkers: 1. Break your associative barriers. That means learning something outside your field, reading something unrelated to what you do, or talking to people in different industries to spark new connections. For instance, earlier this year, I took a pottery class that helped me make a connection that inspired this post. Over the summer, I’m looking at taking a comedy writing class, improv, and learning to play guitar. Even just doing the research has sparked more new ideas than I know what to do with. 2. Talk to strangers. Get curious and ask questions to your taxi driver, the person sitting next to you on the plane, or waiting with you in line at the grocery store. Paying attention to how other people see the world helps you understand your perspective better. 3. Share something before it’s polished. Instead of waiting until you have the perfect take, post the half-formed one. The in-process idea, rough draft, or question without an answer. (If you follow me on LinkedIn, you’ll notice I do this all the time.) The internet favors certainty, but originality often starts in uncertainty. When you share the messy middle, you invite people into your thinking and allow them to help you shape the idea. This goes beyond helping you stand out as someone who’s original, but also someone who creates space for connection and co-creation. As with most of my newsletters, this encouragement to climb out of our box—whether it’s the one that’s familiar or the one that keeps us within our strongly held worldview—is as much for me as it is for you. If we start to think of originality as not just a creative act, but an act of courage and curiosity, maybe we can start to stand out with stuff that’s more true. So while Luna may always return to her favorite box, the rest of us might need to challenge ourselves to climb out of ours. A Few Good Resources
***One final note: Since it's summer and I'm a fan of taking my own advice, I'll be more in the world and less on my computer. Through September, I'll be shipping this newsletter every other week. Hope you have a good one, |