Welcome to Issue 54 of A Good Reputation, a newsletter about how to become a better storyteller and grow your brand. (Did someone send you? Subscribe here.) (Miss past issues? Read those here.)

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Hello Reader,

I never expected Halloween to mark a significant turning point in my life, but on this day seven years ago, I had a night full of firsts.

For the first time since getting married at 24, I was texting with a man who was not my husband—a man I met on the internet and planned to meet in person that night, in costume.

It had only been a month since I learned I was getting a divorce, and it was my first night sleeping in a temporary apartment while I figured out my next move. My soon-to-be ex stayed with our two kids in our shared home.

I had always loved Halloween for the opportunity to pretend to be someone else for a night. I would put a lot of thought and creativity into my costumes.

But on this night, I didn’t want to be clever or cute. I wanted to be treated like I felt I should be treated—and hadn't been for so long.

I wanted to feel wanted.

So I put on a slinky black jumpsuit, red lipstick, and a pair of heels that I dug out and dusted off from the back of my closet. I topped it off with a plastic jeweled tiara I snagged from my 3-year-old’s costume trunk.

And like that, I stepped out into my first night as someone new. Who and what, exactly, I wasn't entirely sure yet.

But it was no longer as a married mom of two. And, for at least one night, as a princess on her way to meet a knight.

A Good First Step

It's not just on Halloween that we like to play pretend or mask what we really want.

We're all in the process of becoming someone new. And throughout that process, we put on different masks to feel accepted and avoid the pain of rejection—or, more often than not, to hide our true selves from ourselves.

At some point, we realize that behind any mask is the false belief that we're not desirable, acceptable, or lovable as we are. That we desperately want to feel wanted.

But it's only by recognizing that we’re pretending—and understanding why—that we can take that first real step toward becoming more fulfilled versions of ourselves.

I was a married mom of two. But I was pretending to be a happily married mom of two. I was playing out a role based on a story that I had convinced myself was the story of my life and the direction it was going.

Turns out, I was just closing that chapter of my life and starting the next.

And, after that night, I was determined to stop pretending and start writing the next chapter honestly.

A Good Takeaway

I ended up meeting that guy. But he wasn't dressed as a knight—he was a pirate.

He wasn't there to swoop me off my feet or save me. That would be up to me.

I guess that the first step toward becoming myself again looked a lot like pretending to be someone else for a while.

It took a lot of trying things on—identities, choices, desires—and telling my story to figure out what really fit.

Now, on this Halloween, I can just pretend for fun.

Hope you have a good one,
Renee